


The question of beauty

by UdSoul



Series: short&sweet [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst(ish), Avengers Family, Falling In Love, Feelings, Happy, Idiots in Love, Insecure Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, and Tony gives it to him, sweet and fluffy, tony is tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 19:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17883587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UdSoul/pseuds/UdSoul
Summary: "The beauty is in the eye of the beholder"  Margaret Wolfe Hungerfordor of Tony's attempts to convince Loki of his stunning appearance.





	The question of beauty

The party was blaring. Stark could hear the music through the thick walls and multiple corridors. He smirked, wiping his hands and checked himself in the mirror. He looked good, all things considered, and the dark-haired woman, who slipped into a room, was agreeing with him. She gave him an appreciative once over, walking to him confidently, every hypnotic sway of her hips underlining her intent.

She was pretty, with long black curls, amber-coloured eyes and a bosom that begged to be kissed. Her smirk was deliciously sharp and once upon a time Tony would sweep her off her feet, promising the world for a night and delivering, like no one would ever believe, but he was not interested.

She was gorgeous, but he knew someone who easily beat her in this department, and, unfortunately for himself, he wanted that somebody badly enough to decline the generous offer.

The woman pouted beautifully, and his sex-drive chastised him for nurturing an unrequited crush, but he decided months ago that substitutes will get him nowhere, and that bitter after-taste stung too sharply to partake in another illusion.

Tony chuckled at his stupidity, arguing with himself again and contemplating the irony, when his eye caught a perfectly tailored emerald suit that would look ridiculous on anyone but Loki. Tony didn’t know how the God managed to pull that off, but he did it flawlessly.

If to think of it, Loki could pull that ridiculous goat helmet off, and after that anything would go, or maybe it was the fact that Loki was the work of art and as such could wear any preposterous attire and still be stunningly gorgeous.

Tony’s inner eye supplied a memory from the last Halloween, when Natasha convinced (bullied) Loki to wear a [sexy Gandalf costume](https://ibb.co/RBmvfCQ) with net-stockings, stilettos and all, effectively ruing the trilogy for Tony, as since then he simply couldn’t lay his eyes on the fictional wizard without getting uncomfortable.

One can argue that Tony was helplessly compromised and couldn’t objectively asses Loki’s attractiveness, but Tony wasn’t the only one. Pepper, Wanda and Natasha gossiped about Loki’s attires, hair style and skin tone more than they were gossiping about anything, constantly swooning over his elegance, charm and statue.

Bruce, Rodney and Captain, continuously teased Tony for losing the title of the “handsomest” Avenger to Loki, and even Barton confessed that no matter how impressive Thor was, Loki was better. The world, also, was not immune to Loki’s entrancing features and there was an army of fans drooling over the God.

Loki, as an arrogant, rational, prideful and self-absorbed creature he was, didn’t even acknowledge the wanton looks, that clung to him, like a cologne, and brushed-off every and all compliments.

Tony figured, Loki could do whatever he wanted, looking like that; and secretly thought that Loki become tired of the constant clinging and grovelling. Tony had spent approximately forty years in a limelight and got fed-up with it by twenty. Loki had thousands of years on him and being a prince…the spot light must have bored him.

“You look good, brother.”

Tony heard Thor’s boisterous voice complementing Loki and rolled his eyes. _Good_ was an inadequate descriptive for a magnificent image Loki had created for the night. The God looked perfect from the tips of his slightly curvy raven hair to the welt of his polished leather shoes, and Tony was ready to step in and correct Thor, but the painful grimace that overtook Loki’s appealing features rooted him to the spot.

“Cease, brother.” Loki growled, glaring at Thor murderously. “Your Avengers, like to stretch the joke, singing false serenades, but I’d ask you not to participate as we both know how monstrous I truly am.”

“Brother…” Thor started, but quickly shut his mouth when Loki’s glare intensified. “I will respect your wishes.” He finished lamely.

“Thank you.” Loki clipped coldly and walked away brusquely, leaving Thor gaping after him and Tony devastated by the realisation that all this time Loki was thinking that they were mocking him, because he didn’t believe himself to be beautiful.

<<**>>

Tony couldn’t sleep the following night or the night after that. Loki’s discomfort and easy acceptance of the illusionary berating didn’t sit well with him. It was horrifying to imagine how crippled the one’s self-esteem should be that every compliment they heard was automatically perceived as a derisive.

It was a majorly fucked up shit and a gold-mime for a psychiatrist, but Tony wouldn’t be Tony, if he didn’t try to fix things his own way, even though potentially it could kill him. Thus, starting from today he decided to prove to Loki that the sentiment was real.

<<**>>

“Master Loki, you are required in a common kitchen.” The voice of the AI rang in the calmness of the library, interrupting Loki’s reading. The God’s heart fluttered, bringing him as much joy as it did irritation.

Loki suspected that coming here would be disastrous, but he couldn’t have imagined how devastating his stay would truly turned out to be.

At the beginning, he was determined to alienate the bullish heroes. He didn’t need to be friends with them to weather his punishment, a polite tolerance would do nicely, but Avengers were determined to assimilate him.

They have met him with unheard tolerance and kept pestering him with good-will, despite his rather nasty pranks and comments, of which he was ashamed now; not that they have held anything against him.

They have accepted him, without cultivating any illusions about his character nor motivation. They, also, didn’t try to change him nor persuade of his supposed _goodness._ They simply rolled with everything he threw at them, gradually taking place in his heart, until one day he couldn’t continue lying to himself and surrendered.

They have become his friends; his tribe. They were people for whom Loki would do plenty. He trusted them and adored them; some more than others, though.

Loki didn’t mean to, knowing fully well that it was foolish and impossible to be, but the heart rarely listens to logic. Moreover, he wouldn’t be able to resist if he tried, and Nines know, he tried to fight the fall vigorously.

It didn’t help, because the more he struggled the deeper he got, and because of that, the lie that he told them every day hurt, especially when they were complimenting it.  

The God smiled bitterly, getting up and walking to the elevator, which pinged obediently, letting him in. The door closed, taking him up. The ride didn’t take long, but it was enough time for him to school his features into a polite mask.

The AI let him out, without the characteristic sound, but Loki brushed it off. He was summoned here, thus, there was no need for the warning.

Loki strolled to the kitchen island, where he presumed the company was waiting, but before he could round the decorative wall that separated the kitchen from the dining space, he heard joyful giggles and the mention of his name.

“Gosh, just look at him! This shade of emerald…How on Earth does he do that?” Lady Pepper exclaimed.

“I know, right. Loki looks edible.” Natasha _cooed,_ which was rather disturbing to hear.

“We should invite him for a shopping trip, and put his impeccable taste to a good use, not to mention what an eye-candy he wil…”

Loki didn’t listen to the rest, fleeing the scene; his cheeks burning crimson.

The seemingly unintentional eavesdropping continued for weeks, feeding Loki’s guilt. The suffering their words brought couldn’t be describe accurately, but the reluctant pleasure the unguarded praise elicited from him was worth it.

Loki puzzled over the identity of a sweet prankster, but in the end, the answer was obvious. The gesture made Loki’s heart painfully clench, and he would have continued with the bitter-sweet game, if not for the note that he received.

The handwriting was gallant, opposed to the scrawl he knew intimately. The God had to smile at the childish cunning Tony displayed, but the torturous tears running in rivulets down his face washed away the joy quickly, leaving a hollow feeling of a sadness.

<<**>>

The lab was eerie silent, even the bots didn’t dare to interrupt their creator’s brooding. Tony was staring unseeingly at the blueprints, his mind preoccupied with the resident raven beauty, who locked himself in his rooms and refused to come out for the last few days.

The Avengers were worried sick, and nobody had a clue as to what could have caused the sudden withdrawal. Tony braced himself and lied, pretending he was as oblivious as they were, and as a result he became a recluse himself, unable to deal with the blues and confusion he created.

The simpler course of action was to come clean and apologise, but something deep within him recoiled from the thought. He refused to apologise for wishing to show Loki that he was gorgeous, even if his methods were questionable. Plus, he didn’t regret what he did. He only regretted that it has hurt the God, and he ought to go up to his room and plead for forgiveness, but then he would need to explain why he did it in a first place and Tony wasn’t a good enough liar to pass his love for a friendly gesture, thus, he was preparing himself for rejection.

Tony closed his eyes, snorting, his fingers aching for a glass. However, he refused the temptation. Drunken confession was not what Loki deserved and Tony owed it to him to be sober for the talk. If only he could find the courage to step out of the lab.

Tony growled frustratingly, tearing at his hear and raising his eyes to the ceiling, staring at it as if it had the answer or could bestow strength.

“Is this a bad time?”

A tentative whisper broke him out of his misery to lurch him straight into a desperation. Tony turned his head slowly, praying for it to be a wistful hallucination, but, alas, Loki was standing there, looking worse for wear but still undeniably lovely.

“It is never a bad time if it’s you.” Tony answered the God, giving up. There was no point in dragging it. Tony wasn’t subtle enough for Loki not to figure it out, and if the God went so far as to search him out then Tony would find enough bravery to properly explain his actions.

The rosy hue coloured Loki’s pale cheeks, and his downhearted expression saddened further, cracking Tony’s heart.

“Did you mean it?” Loki inquired not raising his voice above the dejected murmur.

“Every letter.” Tony answered firmly and without hesitation.

“I ask you not to do that any more.” The God said, and Tony couldn’t process the desolation that coated every syllable. It was wrong for a being of such a calibre to request such a thing. It was profoundly unjust for a deity, who overshadowed the beauty itself to be so unappreciated that he was unaware of his own magnificence. Tony couldn’t stand by it, and he would risk everything to get through to Loki.

“I cannot do that. Loki, I don’t pretend to comprehend the self-image issues you have, and I get that you do not believe a word we say, but I refuse to indulge your blindness. You are amazing inside and out. You are gorgeous and stunning, and everything adorable in between. When you walk in to the room all eyes are on you and they are wishing to touch you, because if there ever a God that would be…” Tony babbled, and in his babble,  he didn’t pay much attention to Loki, but when he risked to glance at the God the view took his voice away.

Loki was wrecked. He was staring at Tony, as if he was everything the God ever wanted but couldn’t have. Tony’s heart skipped a bit and then several, unable to grasp the intensive emotion Loki was showing.

“Oh, how I wished for it to be true. There’s nothing more that I want, but it cannot be. You don’t see…You don’t know whom you are talking to. You presume it’s my face you are looking at, but it’s only an illusion. A lie, like me; like my life.”  

“What are you talking about Loki? I don’t understand.” Tony sputtered, his mind feverishly searching for a way to sooth the distressed God.

“That’s rather the point.” Loki remarked sardonically, before clasping his hands in a nervous gesture and continuing speaking in a morose manner. “If you would never trust me again, at least, trust this – it was not my wish to hurt you.”

Tony didn’t have a chance to put his two cents in, because the perfect alabaster of Loki’s skin flickered, and it was as if a dark-blue paint had covered him from head to toe, erasing the white. The black patterns appeared here and there, and the emerald of Loki’s eyes were overtaken by crimson.

Tony stared at the transformation, shocked into a complete silence by the otherworldly splendour unfolding in front of his eyes.

“This is who I am. A monster parents telling their children about. You can see now that there’s nothing remotely appealing about me, and I know that I have no right to ask this of you, but, please, Tony, don’t make me leave, even though I do not deserve your kindness, please, let me stay.” The desperate plea got through Tony’s spiritual experience, destroying his respect towards Asgardians in general, and the All-parents in particular.

“Why did you show me?” was the first thing Tony said, noting that his brain was not fully online, and the filter was broken entirely. Unsurprisingly, Loki cringed, but then his jaw clenched stubbornly, and Tony praised heavens, for giving him a glimpse of the God he knew and loved.

“I couldn’t stomach the lie.”

“Why?” Tony repeated dumbly, regretting the repetition the moment it left his mouth.

“Don’t make me say it.” The God beseeched for the second time in the spam of several minutes, and Tony started to fear for his sanity, reprimanding himself at the same time. Loki shouldn’t be the one explaining or apologising. Tony unceremoniously stomped on his worst fears and complexes, stripping him bare; and continued to drag his naked, vulnerable soul through the sharp glass of insecurity. What a fabulous way to show Loki he cared.

“Yes, of course. I am an idiot. I am the one who should be speaking.” Tony rushed the words out, taking an involuntary step towards the God, who immediately filched, gluing Tony to the spot. “Steady, Blitzen.” Tony placated, relishing in the annoyed glare Loki shot him. “You are gorgeous and I’m in love with you, blue or not.” He confessed without preamble.

The look Loki gave him was a mix of fury, disbelief and painful hope. Tony watched in fascination how arguments formed and crumbled, alighting Loki’s face with myriads of conflicting emotions, before they settled on one: caution.

“Is this a trick formed to placate me, because I assure you, I won’t leave or go villainy if you reject me.” Loki swore, driving Tony to the brink of tears.

“No, Loki. This is not a trick. How sick the person should be to lead someone on this way?” Tony posed a rhetorical question, but by the haunted pain that entered Lok eyes Tony guessed the entirety of Asgard was. “I hate Asgard, and, for the record, your blue is sexier than your white.” Tony added, before Loki could interrupt him and come up with more disturbing reasons to reject his claim.

“I cannot believe that.”

The conviction in Loki’s voice ignited Tony’s blood with homicidal rage. In that moment, Tony wished to call Thor and demand he takes him to Asgard, so he could level it. The only thing that was stopping him was Loki, who despite his raw appearance was still lingering in the lab, as if daring Tony to disagree with him and Stark was happy to do just that.

“I figured.” Tony said, marching determinately towards Loki and ignoring his feeble attempts to scare him away, but when the God was in touching range, he simply teleported. Tony cursed creatively, damning the whole Universe and then some. The amused chuckle broke him out of his tirade, and he turned so quickly that his vision blurred.

“Your mind is impressively dirty.” Loki praised, and Tony was glad to see a momentary return of his favourite asshole.

“You have no idea, Blitzen, but I urge you to find out.” Tony brazenly teased him, and, naturally, the vulnerability crushed the frivolous façade.

“Even like this?” The God inquired slyly, but Tony could spot the heat pulling in Loki’s gorgeous red and he adopted a seductive prowl, while moving closer, so, Tony grinned at him suggestively and invited in.

“Especially like this.”

“You will need more time to convince me that your words held merit, and I am willing to give it to you.” Loki said, wrapping his pale arms around him. Tony’s whine was a mix of disappointment and delight.

“Can you at least leave the red?” The man demanded, snuggling close.

“Am I missing something?” Loki inquired playfully, inhaling the scent of the man whom he was certain he will never be able to hold in such a manner.

“Only the most obvious thing in the world…” Tony remarked fondly, waving his hand around his workshop where the pieces of red armour could be spotted on every shelf and table.

“Ah…” Loki remarked, feeling giddy. “Then you might…” The God added, for the first time not being afraid of rejection. Tony gasped in pure wonder, staring into Loki’s eyes, and appearing to be in a trance. “Did I live up to your standards?” Loki asked unable to resist the fierce admiration he saw in Tony’s expression.

“You exceeded them quite remarkably.” The man breathed out and tilted his head in way the left little doubt of what he wanted. Loki smiled at him lovingly, before tasting Tony’s lips for the first time.

<<**>>

“Hey, Natasha. What’s the matter?”

“The operation “shopping trip” is postponed. The idiots finally got together.” The Widow said, strolling away from the lab’s entrance.

“Don’t forget you owe me.” Pepper sing-sang.

“How could I ever.”


End file.
